I thought I’d weigh in on the whole ‘dad bod’ debate that seems to have recently sparked interest all over social media.
The original blog post can be found here:
It was posted by a girl named Mackenzie Pearson.
I’d like to quickly share my thoughts & opinions. Im doing so as a guy who has spent the majority of his adult life working out, & as a trainer I have helped 100s of others take their life back, regain their confidence, improve their health, battle depression, & generally feel like they have become a better partner/husband/wife/parent.
One thing that leapt out at me is that the whole ‘dad bod’ blog predominantly presents one side; I guess this to be expected. I’m not sure how young this girl is, however she deals primarily with the aesthetic side of training throughout her blog…there isn’t a single reference to health, well being, and or mental/physical harmony….
I would like to start by emphasising that vanity & sanity are two VERY different aspects of training.
Training/working out or however you wish to define it, is very often extremely therapeutic…more so than ‘drinking heavily on the weekends & eating eight slices of pizza at a time’, that is a form of sedation. I’m not tee total and I LOVE pizza, but it’s a treat, that’s not me preaching, that’s what works for me, does this make me less of a man?
In her opening paragraph she states:
“The dad bod is a new trend and fraternity boys everywhere seem to be rejoicing.”
If these guys have the dad bod at this young age, where will they be in 5/10/15 years time? Again, I’m talking about health here, not aesthetics. If you had to place a bet on who will/wont have health issues/complications later down the line, who would bet on? There are no guarantees in life, but surely as a girlfriend/potential lifetime partner you would want your lover to live as long & as healthy as possible?
The dad bod says, “I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time.”
Has she considered that you can eat & pizza/drink beer in moderation, still be in shape and still be happy?
Some of her other supporting points as to why girls love the dad bod are as follows:
>’It doesn’t intimidate us.’
Ok, I get this, to a point, however surely this is down to your man to make you feel special? He needs to make you feel secure, to make you realise that you are what he needs. I would also suggest that insecurity can breed insecurity, maybe he can be strong for you, and lift you up? This is connection; this is emotional, not physical.
>’We like being the pretty one.’
I agree that the girl should be, but doesn’t the girl in question also want to be proud of her guy? Don’t they want to show him off?
Don’t some girls want to feel safe & protected?
You can train hard, stay focused, get lean, get results all whilst still enjoying a cheat meal, however doing something everyday/consistently isn’t a cheat it’s a habit……..one that WILL effect your health….
>’You know what you’re getting.’
This is possibly the biggest issue I have with the whole blog……..The point here is that supposedly girls know they are getting into when he’s got the dadbod already at age 22 opposed to 45, in that it’s a visualisation of how the guy will look when he’s older……BUT if the guy is started at 22 with a dad bod, this is only a sign that he will potentially get worse and HEALTH (there’s that word again) WILL deteriorate…….
What about what you can’t see?
How a man enters the room, how he walks, how he sees himself, how he conducts his business, how he talks, how he is with his kids, how he performs in the bedroom are all directly effected by training.
Do you think men don’t suffer with body issues?
Do you think we don’t beat ourselves up?
I’ve lost count of the amount of times when a guy has confided in me & muttered the words ‘I don’t want to be a fat dad’… this takes courage, its not easy for us guys to open up & admit our insecurities. We hide behind humour, behind banter, but we ALL have feelings, we ALL have issues… We often feel the pressure to be ‘the man’, not only in relationships but in life, we want our lovers to be proud of who we are, but WE also want to be proud of who we are.
If this girl or any girl for that matter is looking a guy as a long term partner, ie marriage, kids, the whole lot, then SURELY part of this involves living life with energy & confidence and passing these traits onto their kids?
Wouldn’t Mackenzie want her partner to be a HEALTHY role model to their kids?
Why not aim higher than the ‘dad bod’? Why settle? Why not be more?
This doesn’t make the man vain; it doesn’t reflect his skills as parent, or his judgement of others. If a man wants to take control of his life and channel himself through training then that’s his choice.
The aesthetic results of strength/resistance training are only a bi-product of continuous dedication, passion, focus & consistency….. There are simply far too many to health benefits to list….
NOBODY, man, woman or child should be obsessed with their looks, self obsession will only close you off from the world and ultimately exclude you from happiness.
Remember that if a guy is an arsehole, but he happens works out, he’s just an arsehole who works out. No amount of muscle will change that, just like no amount of beer or pizza will change that.
All I invite you to consider today is that there is FAR more to consider from a ‘working out’ perspective.
Nobody should be judged or put in a box, everyone has the right to do what is right for them.
Thanks for taking the time to read this blog, please share with anyone who you think will find it useful.
Tristan ‘I could kill a pizza now’ Buttle